Thursday, March 26, 2009

Doctor's Visits

Tuesday I went for a doctor's appointment. I've hit the weekly stage. There is plenty of time to think waiting at the ob/gyns. Thought I'd share (possible TMI).

Basic Observations
  1. Peeing in a plastic cup the size of a shot glass becomes increasingly difficult as your belly grows increasingly larger. I would like a cup with handles.
  2. Jerry Springer though conversation inspiring is not what the majority of women waiting want to see.
  3. Drug reps who walk right in after I've been waiting half an hour beyond the time of my appointment frustrate me.
  4. The group B strep test is birth control.
  5. So is the hour and a half waiting at the office when the appointment takes all of two minutes and involves a tape measure and doppler machine.
  6. I've been with a clinic before where I had my choice of four doctors and to physician assistants. They are no more on-time than a one doctor, one physician office where I know who will deliver my baby.
For the Doctor
  1. Making a me wait with no pants on for 30 minutes guarantees you a frustrated woman.
  2. Asking me about a lost pregnancy every visit because you haven't read the problems drives me crazy.
  3. I truly like my doctor. I truly dislike being pregnant (though I am thrilled with the outcome and our ability to have a baby.) It is a love hate relationship I have with you.
For Women
  1. The man you choose to bring will embarrass you. Not because he means to, but because he doesn't want to be in the ob/gyn's office and he gets bored with daytime talk. Even I want to throw bits of rotten food at Rachel Ray and the Ladies of the View. (Guess what time my appointments usually are.)
  2. Your children could fall off the spinning doctor's stool if you let them play on it because every other method of distraction has failed.
  3. The beautiful women in the pregnancy magazines are professionally dressed, professionally made up, and air-brushed. And no store in Uniontown sells those cute dresses.
  4. You will gather more information from and give more information to the other women (and their men and children) than you thought possible. Even when your plan is to read something you have been wanting to read for weeks.
A Bonus
  1. Drinking in order to be sure you are prepared for the required bathroom visit before you leave for the appointment only assures your discomfort as the wait alone is long enough to fill your bladder.


Karen Novak said...

Thank you for starting my morning off with a good laugh. You are so accurate with your observations. I actually thought I was the only one annoyed with the pharm. reps waltzing in & out of the doctors office. :)

Julia said...

Your writting brings those days back so vividly. Thank you for sharing Sarah. I can simpathize in the love/hate relationship. I gained a min. of 65lbs with each of my by the third trimester, i was well in the miserable stage.
A bright note for some, I have learned recently that UPMC has prohibited drug reps from visiting doctors directly now. They saw that it was unfair to the patients during daytime hours!! haha. Just a little too late for some of us, it will help those that will come behind us tho!
Have a great day everyone!