Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Monday, March 29, 2010

Some Lessons Teach the Teacher

The little girl walked up to me. Mommy, I accidentally wrote in the book.

Well, Abigail, what does that mean?

She hangs her head, A spanking.

Yes, what book did you write in?

The Apple Strudel Soldier.

A library book.

Why did you write in The Apple Strudel Soldier?

I thought it was a coloring book.


I could tell she was searching for a reason that sounded acceptable. A coloring book is an appropriate place to write. Things were getting out of hand, I had to tackle the “accident” and the writing and if we continued this line of questioning I am sure we would get into lying and other subjects this Monday morning mother wasn't prepared for.

We were sitting face to face--she on the couch, I on the ottoman. She was worrying over the consequences. I wanted to address the disobedience and “tweaking” of the truth.

Abigail, you knew this wasn't a coloring book. It is your favorite library book. We will have to tell Miss Diane when we take it back.

Do I have to have a spanking? She asked tearfully.

Yes, Honey, you have to have a spanking. You know you are not allowed to write in books.


A quiet voice--Ask to see what she wrote.


Abigail, show me where you wrote.

She opened the book to the title page and pointed to a pen mark not a centimeter in length. Eyelashes are longer. The frayed edges of this old book are longer.

Oh, Abby. I can't spank you for this.


Relief covers her face. There will be no spanking.


Mommy, I'm sorry I wrote in the book.

Oh, Sweetheart, I forgive you. I am sorry I scared you, that I was going to spank you without cause. Will you forgive me?

Yes. She replies.

Mommy, I'm sorry I wrote in the book. Will we need to tell Miss Diane?

No, Honey, we won't.


Her eyes give it away. Her body tense beside me gives it away. She isn't convinced. Not of the forgiveness. Not of the love. Not of the relationship damaged in disobedience, but repaired in forgiveness.

To read more please visit A Lettered Legacy.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Failed

I make plans for myself and my family. Sometimes those plans are verbalized. Often they are unwritten subtleties, unconscious expectations.

These are my enemies-these silent objectives.

They taunt me when unmet. They use names like unworthy and inadequate. On occasion they whip out the really powerful adjectives to titles I already claim: bad mother, loser wife.

Unspoken goals have powerful voices.

All too often I agree. I add my own label: failure. I claim that name for myself, worrying that my husband is disappointed and angry and that my children are being scarred beyond recognition. I carry that weight with me day in and day out till I can no longer stand under the burden.

I cry.

I seek out my husband asking if I am the failure I believe I am. I don't believe his answer.
I ask if he is disappointed in me, angry with my performance. I don't believe his answer.
I question my mothering listing all the times I could have done things differently. I don't believe his answer.

I pray that this burden be lifted, that I be forgiven for being less that everything, that I be made a wife and a mother worthy of these dear ones in my family. And I read:

Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves,
but our adequacy comes from God.
2 Corinthians 3:5

And He speaks.

And I rest assured that in spite of my shortcomings, in spite of my weaknesses, in spite of my inadequacy, He will care for my family. For He loves them more than I ever could. He created them just as He created me. He knows that we together are but dust. In His love for all of us--husband, wife, children--He will make me adequate for this call to motherhood.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

No Excuse

Alright Ladies,

For those of you who claimed more than one love language, there is a handy-dandy little quiz right here.
The 30 Second Assessment. Incidentally, there is a quiz there about your apology language here.

The 5 Love Languages Quiz

and just for good measure, in case they are in conflict,
GreaterQuest-5 Love Languages Quiz.

Check it out and I expect reports :).