Friday, March 26, 2010

Reality Moment

I had a reality moment today. *tear*

I took Brenna to school today, as usual.
We were listening to Veggie Tales on the way, as usual.
We get to the school and I help her out of the car, as usual.
We walk on the sidewalk together side by side. Wait. She doesn't reach for my outstretched hand. Not usual.
We get to the door of the school to see her two little friends arrive at the same time. Sophia & Summer.
Her smiles are for them not for me. Not usual.
I walk her in the building, kiss her goodbye. She is looking at them the entire time. She didn't look up at me once with those little eyes I love so much. Not usual.
I had to hold back my tears as I left the school, as usual.
This time they were new tears. Tears at the realization that very soon Brenna will no longer need me in the ways I am use to her needing me.
You know that part of you that you didn't have until you had kids?! I can almost feel that part of me starting to walk around inside looking for something to do.
I don't think I like that very much. Nope, not at all.
However, I can't help but feel a tiny bit proud of the amazing human beings that God has blessed me with and I think, perhaps with His help I will be able to bare it...perhaps.
*tear, tear, tear*


Neely said...

ugh! I know that feeling!!! JonJon can now buckle his seatbelt on his own. I have been pushing for him to be more independent. And he is. a pain to my heart. Again, I am proud of him, again, I am saddened. ugh!

Sarah said...

ahh, the bittersweet nature of motherhood. it seems that they are always moving further and further from us.